Unmasking the Authentic Self:

Understanding and Supporting Autistic Girls 

Autism (also called autism spectrum disorder) was once believed to affect predominantly men and boys. But we now know this to be untrue.

A 2017 study[1], which analysed 54 studies with more than 13,700,000 participants, found that the ratio of men and boys with autism compared to women and girls is around three to one. The researchers identified that women and girls are less likely to receive a clinical diagnosis than their male counterparts.

One of the reasons for this is that autistic girls and women can be very adept at ‘masking’ or camouflaging their differences. As therapists, we use the term ‘unmasking’ to describe the process of revealing a person’s true self and identity from beneath layers of social conformity. Unmasking is a vital but complex journey for autistic girls and women and it’s crucial to remember that each individual’s experience is unique. This blog offers insights and guidance for people on the spectrum and those who support them.

Why unmasking is important

From a young age, many autistic girls learn to mimic neurotypical behaviours and social norms. But ‘masking’ their differences often comes at the expense of their mental and emotional wellbeing. This constant effort to fit in can lead to exhaustion and a profound sense of disconnection from the authentic self. So, while unmasking can be challenging, it is important for the individual’s health and wellbeing.

Recognising the mask

Step one in the unmasking process is to recognise that there is a mask… and this is not always easy. Autistic girls may exhibit a range of behaviours to mask their differences, such as mimicking facial expressions, suppressing stimming behaviours, or forcing eye contact. They might imitate their peers, even when it feels unnatural or exhausting. This is where support from a therapist can be very helpful as it can enable autistic girls to identify and understand that they are masking, and the impact this could be having on their wellbeing and sense of self.

The unmasking process

Unmasking is a personal journey. The pace and extent of unmasking will vary from person to person. While some people may choose to unmask gradually, for others a sudden and complete transition will feel more authentic. It’s important to realise there is no right or wrong way and to stick to what feels right for the individual.

How to support the unmasking process

There are different ways that someone can support a person on the spectrum to unmask including:

• Encouraging self-reflection: This means supporting autistic girls to reflect on their true interests, preferences, and needs. Journaling or therapy can be helpful tools for self-discovery.
• Fostering self-acceptance: It is helpful to emphasise to autistic girls that their true selves are valid and valuable. Acceptance of their autistic identity is a crucial step in the unmasking process.
• Providing a safe space: Create a safe and supportive environment where autistic girls can express themselves without judgment or pressure to conform.
• Celebrating differences: Encourage autistic girls to embrace their unique qualities and celebrate their individuality. Every person, regardless of their neurotype, has something special to offer.
• Seeking professional help: Consider seeking guidance from therapists, counselors, or support groups experienced in autism and unmasking. They can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.

While the aim of this blog is to provide some context and guidance about unmasking, it’s important to note that it is not a one-size-fits-all process. Unmasking is a profound and personal journey for autistic girls and it requires self-awareness, self-acceptance, and support from those around them. Remember that unmasking doesn't mean abandoning all social skills or conforming behaviours but, rather it is about finding a balance between authenticity and navigating the neurotypical world. By understanding and supporting the unmasking process, we can help autistic girls be true to themselves and thrive in a world that celebrates diversity.

For support with unmasking, as well as other adolescent emotional and behavioural difficulties or learning disabilities, contact me.

[1] Loomes R, Hull L, Mandy WPL. What Is the Male-to-Female Ratio in Autism Spectrum Disorder? A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2017 Jun;56(6):466-474. doi: 10.1016/j.jaac.2017.03.013. Epub 2017 Apr 5. PMID: 28545751.

Paulina - I’m not familiar with this word. Is it a typo? If not could we maybe explain what it means to a non-clinical audience please?